The Hobgoblin of Little Minds

What is that saying? ____is the hobgoblin of little minds? Let me google it and report back to you............Ok back. The quote is foolish consistency by Ralph Waldo Emerson. I was thinking about a title for today's mental outpouring and I thought about consistency in going to the gym and sticking to a plan, being consistent and that saying popped in my head.



Let's look at what it means. The rest of the quote says "adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. Here is the story to illustrate the meaning (btw doesn't the term "little statesman" automatically invoke monkey man President George H W Bush).

For their first Thanksgiving, a loving wife cooks a ham for her husband. He notices that the ends of the ham are cut off. He asks why she cut off the ends and she says "I don't know that's the way my mother always did it". So the husband asks the mother-in-law and she says the same thing. So he calls the grandmother and she says "I had a small oven". His wife and mother-in-law were being consistent but without a reason other than tradition and repetition.



I loathe to bring up politics but the abortion issue is a prime example of "foolish consistency". Fundamentalist Christians believe that every human life has a predetermined destiny set forth by the big guy himself. An abortion interupts the divine plan of predestination and is therefore opposed. No woman should be allowed to interfere with divine predestination even in cases of rape or incest. A foolish consistency and Emerson knew this when he mentions "divines".



Wow! so off topic. Let's bring it back to me and my trips to the gym. Going to the gym everyday is consistent but going without a plan is foolish. Therefore, abortion should be legal. Huh?



Anyway, the good: ran a mile on the treadmill in 16 mins (yeah), lifted weights and other stuff (yeah), drank more water than ever in my life (yeah). The not so good - had a big cinammon roll for breakfast (boo).



Also, the day I didn't blog - I walked to work - and then walked home. A total of 4.4 miles. Wow! Awesome! Random word association with "Wow!" Here it comes -- School House Rock-



When Reginald was home with flu, uh-huh-huh,The doctor knew just what to do-hoo.

He cured the infectionWith one small injectionWhile Reginald uttered some interjections..
Hey! That smarts!Ouch! That hurts!Yow! That's not fair givin' a guy a shot down there!
Interjections (Hey!) show excitement (Yow!) or emotion (Ouch!).

They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,Or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.
Though Geraldine played hard to get, uh-huh-huh

Geraldo knew he'd woo her yet

He showed his affection

Despite her objections

And Geraldine hollered some interjections...
Well! You've got some nerve!Oh! I've never been so insulted in all my life!Hey! You're kinda cute!
Interjections (Well!) show excitement (Oh!) or emotion (Hey!).They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,Or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.
So when you're happy (Hurray!) or sad (Aw!)Or frightened (Eeeeeek!) or mad (Rats!)Or excited (Wow!) or glad (Hey!)An interjection starts a sentence right.
The game was tied at seven all, uh-huh-huh,When Franklin found he had the ba-hall.He made a connectionIn the other direction,And the crowd starting shouting out interjections...
Aw! You threw the wrong way!Darn! You just lost the game!Hurray! I'm for the other team!
Interjections (Aw!) show excitement (Darn!) or emotion (Hurray!).They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,Or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.
So when you're happy (Hurray!) or sad (Aw!)Or frightened (Eeeeeek!) or mad (Rats!)Or excited (Wow!) or glad (Hey!)An interjection starts a sentence right.
Interjections (Hey!) show excitement (Hey!) or emotion (Hey!).They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,Or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.
Interjections show excitement or emotion,Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah... YEA!
Darn! That's the end!

Weekend Motivation

Ugh! I am tired. I went to bed too early and woke up too soon (3AM). I couldn't go back to sleep until 6AM and had to wake up at 8AM to go to work. Why does the body punish you for trying to get more sleep? You would think that it would be grateful for the break. Bags under the eyes would magically disappear, skin would tighten but no, I am more tired and have a slight headache.

Enough bellyaching! I went to the gym on both weekend days and here is the breakdown:

Saturday - weights, abs only. Abs really fought me hard and did not want to crunch. I even cramped them up somehow. A cramp in the ab region is not fun, I didn't know how to relax them. I just bent backwards a little and they were ok but I stopped. You won this round abs!

Sunday - I did the eliptical trainer while watching football. I used the machine with handles like a cross country skiing thing. I did the workout in the three minute increments so for 3 minutes I used no hands, for the next three minutes I grabbed the non-moving handles in the middle of the machine that take your pulse and for three minutes I used the swinging handles.

It made the 30 minutes go by fast. I like this concept of micro goals. On the treadmill, I use the same system - 3 minutes fast and 2 minutes slow, etc.

This blogging does influence how I did. I ate sensibly and exercised on both days so that I could honestly blog about it. I thought of a few things I would like to add and even a new invention:

How about a scale that tracks your weight loss without actually telling you your weight. So the first time you step on it, you push a button to tell it that this is your starting weight. When you weigh again, it will say "-1 lbs" so just your weight loss (or gain) but not the starting number and no math to do.

I also want to add a graph showing weight loss with the same concept. No starting number, just the progression of loss.

Wow! I added a picture. Yes! Give me an H, a T, a M, a L. Anyway, this chart sh0ws progress without seeing the y axis and that number glaring at you.

Now all I need to do is either invent the scale I was talking about or actually step on a "regular" scale and start tracking. Next week's goal - get on a scale.

Gym Results - 30 minutes on the eliptical trainer. Got my sweat on! Did some weights and abs but tried (there is no try) focusing on cardio.
I prefer going to the gym as opposed to working out at home. Mainly, being at home provides too many distractions and excuses to stop. Also, there is something about the effort of driving to the gym, changing clothes, etc that prepares the mind for working out. Whatever works.
I watched a few before and after videos on Youtube earlier. Sorry haven't quite figure out how to embed a video or even a link yet. Good stuff. When those infomercials come on for some kind of magical weight loss and they show before and after pics, I always change the channel. I am not interested in seeing someone's success, especially when they weren't fat to begin with. There is one for "P90X" or some such thing. 90 days of intense exercise that transforms a body. The people in the before are all skinny and at the end of 90 days the have muscle tone but are still skinny. No thanks. Congrats skinny people.
Weekend plans - gym on Saturday and major walk on Sunday. Eat normally and don't drink too much.

False Inspiration

As I workout again, I like to look around and see what inspires me to work out. For example, the first day I took a step class I wanted to walk out and pass out. The instructor, Teresa, could see that I was struggling and ready to quit. She pointed out this old guy in the class who seemed to be handling the exercise. She said that if this 86 year old guy can do it, so can you. He was a really cool dude. Did push ups on his finger tips, kept up with steps even though he had a hearing aid. He owned a cattle ranch in Colorado and travelled there to do a cattle run once per year.


I was inspired to keep going but not because of the old guy. Teresa inspired me to go on because she saw that I was failing and wanted me to keep going. Her encouragement was the real inspiration to me that day.


Yesterday, I did 30 minutes on the eliptical trainer and decided to sit in the jacuzzi afterwards. As I was sitting there, a kid in a wheelchair pushed by his mother came in to the pool area. I am pretty sure he had Cerebal Palsy. His arms were pretty twisted and he had only use of this upper legs from what I could see. He hopped off his wheelchair and onto his knees and got himself in the pool unaided.



He started doing laps in the pool that amazed me. One lap he did freestyle, then the backstroke, then that one stroke that looks like a frog (breast stroke?). He may have been trapped in the wheelchair but in the water he had all the freedom in the world. Other swimmers offered him encouragement. "Great job!" "Wow, you are fast". The compliments didn't do much for him, he was busy swimming and being a regular kid.


From my vantage point in the jacuzzi, I could also see the sauna and the glass door separating the pool from the sauna. Through the door, I saw his Mom watching him swim freely in the water, looking like ay other kid in the pool. Although she tried to hide it and was smiling widely, every few seconds she was wiping tears from her eyes.


She was my inspiration that day. It takes a lot of guts to take a handicap kid in public and face the stares of others. "Non-handicapped" people go the gym and face the same the stares. Pretty much anyone who is not "gym-perfect". Whether anyone stares at me like that, I don't know but on those days when I am feeling extra fat and bloated, I'll think of the mom of this kid and her willingness to push her son through the gym to get to the pool and let him overcome his handicap and be a regular kid for a while.


Was that too corny? Too Hallmark? Too metaphoric? Too "Extreme Home Make Over"? Oh well, it was genuine and really happened, except the wheelchair part - I made that up for dramatic effect. Just kidding, it was real.

The Aftermath

No exercise at all last night. I was too stressed from all the employee meetings I had. Our site is closing in November and I will continue working for the company in another capacity. I think I have survivor guilt.

I even ate some Pringles! I wasn't supposed to eat those delectable freeze dried potato food products but I did. Thats like several hours on the treadmill. Beware the shame spiral!

Sidenote- One of my favorite movies of all time is "Foul Play" with Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn. In one scene, a dying man at a movie tells Goldie Hawn to "beware of the dwarf". She tells her landlord, Burgess Meredith, about the story and at some point he repeats the warning but changes the words "beware of the midgets, they're taking over the world". I love that scene. I don't know why but it does lead to me my next non-sequitur topic. My Most Watched Movies Of All Time and why. I am sure no one cares what my most watched movies are and an even smaller group cares why but I won't let that stop me.

In no particular order:

1. The Hunt for Red October
Sean Connery as a mad Russian Sub commander with a really bad Scottish/Russian accent- need I say more.
John McTiernan directed. He also did "Die Hard". A good Clancy book that I have read thousands of times.

2. War Games
The movie that taught us if you are ever trapped near a phone booth with no change- just look for a tab from a soda can and you can make a call. Very McGyver! Favorite line "Can we cook the corn and take a pill?"

3. Godfather II
I prefer the sequel to the original. I like the Senate Hearings and I especially like Hyman Roth played by Lee Strasberg, the famous acting teacher and director of the Actors Studio in the 50's.

4. Empire Strikes Back
We meet Yoda and learn that "there is no try. Do or do not" Later to be repeated by Mr Miyagi in Karate Kid.

5. Karate Kid
We learn that in order to be good at karate, you must first remodel a man's house and wax several old cars. Ralph Macchio was like 23 when he made this movie but he looked 15.

6. Silence of the Lambs
A great movie from beginning to end. There are no throw away or filler scenes, well maybe those creepy dudes playing cockroach chess or whatever but not much else. We learn that even canibalistic murderers will help a young FBI agent catch a kidnapper if she has an interesting story to tell and cheap shoes.

7. Birdcage
Nathan Lane as Barbara Bush - so great. Ally Mcbeal as an 18 year old freshmen who someone would want to marry - not so great. If it was anyone besides Nathan Lane I don't think this movie would hold up. We learn in this movie that Republicans know nothing about Florida drag club performers/owners and vice versa.

8. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Another drag movie with a heart of gold. It's quirky, funny and well made. I love the ending with the blow up doll ending up in China.

9. Foul Play
See above. Also it was shot in San Francisco and Cyril Magnin was the Pope in that one scene. Dudley Moore was great too.

10. Arthur
Dudley Moore is great. Vey funny. Gielgud is great "Good Luck in Prison".

Well, that's the list. I checked IMBD and the most recent movie I listed above was made in 1991. So I'm 17 years behind the times. Get off my lawn, ya whippersnappers!

Earth Wind and Fire

I've always wondered what that 70's group had against "water". They had the other three ancient elements in there - Earth, wind, fire and water is the fourth. Would "Water Earth and Fire" sound so bad? Maybe "Wind Water and Fire"?



Why the thought of EWF anyway? Well, I was thinking of that song "Do you remember the 21st night of September?" But today isn't even the 21st? Well whatever, viva la random thought.



Exercise Results


Let's get those out the way. I ran on the treadmill last night. Did a mile and some change. Felt ok. Still need to hit the goal of 1.5 miles in 20 minutes. Gotta keep plugging away and building both speed and time. Incremental improvement is the only way to get there and patience is required.



Dreams



I have crazy dreams. Always have. The weirdest thing about my dreams is the repetition of the locations. For example, when I dream about High School (common dream) - it's always about the same location, layout, buildlings, etc. but the dream setting is nothing like the high school I went to. My brain somehow conjures up this imaginary high school with every dream. The imaginary high school is better than the high school I went to. It's also in Oregon somewhere. If I go to Oregon and see this High School, I think the space-time continuim will collapse.



So I visited one of my repeat dream locations last night. A golf course. Never been to this dream course before but it follows a logical course layout, except for the living room that you have to putt through and the backyard that my ball always lands in the dream.



In the dream, I can not figure out how to hit a golf ball. My grip seems wrong, like I am holding the club with the wrong hand on top. My elbows also do strange things and flare out like they're on my body backwards. I try this dippity do swing and miss the ball and can't figure out how to swing and when I do hit it, it goes into this backyward.



So the backyward has those corrugated plastic sheeting coverings and some palm trees. I can see the dead palm fronds and other junk in the corner as I am searching for my ball. Once I find my ball I have to pitch it over the roof of the house.



Once I finally reach the green, another group is putting. I have taken so long in the backyard that my group has moved on. I panic and try to catch up to with my group but can't find them. Long story short - a common stress dream.



Plans



More drama at work so I don't know if I will get to the gym today.

Blue Moon on Monday

Not a Duran Duran fan blog, just a thought on this gray overcast day in a city by the bay - San Leandro. I guess "the" city by the bay is San Francisco but San Leandro qualifies although, I do not know the difference between a town and a city in the strict definition sense - population, square mileage, Andy Taylor is the sheriff - let me google and I'll be right back.....Well, that was fascinating. I actually googled that right now and the difference is legally defined as having a city government as opposed to county. There is an older definition that a city has a cathedral and a town has only a church. I assume Catholic. A town without a church is a hamlet, a godless hamlet full of heathens. Another random thought - in Roman times, people in outlying villages had their own customs and superstitions - a pagan literally means a "village dweller". When the Romans were busy Christianizing everyone they deemed anything non-Christian to be pagan which evolved into the meaning today of almost Satanic.

Enough trivia but that is how my brain works. From city to town to village to pagan to Satan. I think that everything is six degrees away from Satan - forget Kevin Bacon. And when you say Satan you must picture the Church Lady.

On to my exercise diary-
Saturday - did not take that mammoth walk because I overslept. I did go to the gym and did 30 minutes on the eliptical trainer while watching football. Also did some weights and sit-ups. Foodwise, I did ok until....I had a few drinks with friends. I decided I needed some pizza to sober up - two slices. Yum.

Sunday - did some laundry but that is not really aerobic it is aromatic. Anyway, ended up at the gym and skipped the treadmill again. I went for 30 minutes on the trainer and sat in the hot tub and steam room for a while. Food intake was pretty good I must say and no alcohol today.

I watched the History Channel's documentary on 9/11 where they used archival footage and left out the lame commentary of the talking heads. It was fascinating and I was engrossed. Up close like that, you really get to see how heroic the emergency personnel was. Truly heroic.

I fully expect this week to suck so I am preparing myself mentally for the week. If I exercise at all, it will be a triumph. Bad job news is coming and I have to tell the staff that most will lose their jobs.

Weekend Doth Approacheth

Let's review my Thursday goal and actual results.
30 minutes on some form of machine - check
So I was waiting for a treadmill to open up and spotted one near an open window. This has two things I like - 1) No mirror looking back at you huffing and sweating 2) Fresh air to keep the funk down to a minimum. There were these girls working out side by side on the very treadmill I was eyeing. Fine, I'll just ride the stationary bike until they quit. Can't take too long. Well, 30 minutes later these chicas were nowhere near done - even with the evil thoughts and bad mojo I was casting their way.
I eventually found another treadmill near another open window. Those girls can still be there for all I know.

So, bike 30 minutes. Now to the goal of 1 mile on the treadmill. I did it! In a blazing time of 16 minutes. This is a 3 minute improvement on Tuesday's time. Next goal 1.5 miles in 20 minutes. Dare I dream!

Weights and abs-check. My gym routine was complete.

Tattoos

New subject. I have some tattoos. I like them. I get the whole personal art vibe of tattoos. What I don't get are neck tattoos (prisoner), face tattoos (crazy prisoner), butt outline tattoos (horny crazy prisoner?).

Neck tattoos - usually look like a stain. Most likey it's someone's name written in some lame cursive writing. Maybe their child or baby mama or baby daddy. Maybe "Viva la raza' or something like that. Nothing says pride in your race like a cursive tat on the neck.

Face tat - just ick. People will avoid you, mothers will shield their children when you approach, people will cross the street to avoid you (see the life of Mike Tyson for more details)

Butt tats - These are some arty outline of the lower back or upper butt. Who is this tat for? You'll never see it without several yoga lessons. Your proctologist or urologist? Your lover? The target audience is just too small to justify the pain of adding an artsy fartsy (ha) frame of your nether regions. Butt tats - don't do it!

Weekend Plans-
Long walk on Saturday - probably through San Francisco. Maybe a stop at Giardino Bros bar for a beer. Go to gym and hit the weights. Watch the food intake and stay away from junk.
Sunday - treadmill, gym, stretching, resting

Thursday's Plan

Looked over Thursday's schedule. Seems doable.


20 minutes on the treadmill. I jog at 4.5 so gotta keep that pace going.

30 minutes on another machine. No problem just go for time not really for speed.

Some weights and abs. Right - let's see if I survive the jogging.


I will replenish my fluids with the goodness of Sugar Free Rock Star. I loves me some Rock Star but interesting side light. Rock Star was created by the son of the worst talk show host in history Michael Savage Weiner. So I can't help think that when I drink Rock Star I am benefiting that sleaze ball talk show host. Hopefully not.

I had some Thai food today for lunch. Not sure if is healthy or not. Tasted good, so probably not. Skipped the candy, chips and ice cream so I got that going for me.

Today is September 11, so naturally the mind wanders back to that fateful day in 2001. I remember I had fallen asleep on the couch after working late and had CNN on when I fell asleep. I remember dreaming something weird about an attack (probably the sound of the TV affecting my dream). When I awoke, I saw the first tower come down on CNN. How surreal was that day? I went to the WTC site in 2003 and talk about surreal. You could still feel the emotion of the place. I think I wept a little.

The Starting Date

Let me explain the catchy title. I was reading one of those Men's Health magazines (Men's Health, Men's Fitness, Men's Health and Fitness, Men's You'll never look like this). Invariably, they have a before and after section where some slob starts out as Peter Griffin and ends up as Matthew Mcconaughey (sp?).


I thought I needed to get back in shape so this portion is the "during" portion of my before and after. Since this is the first post, I suppose technically I am still at the "before" stage.


So what better way to get in shape than to share it with the world and track my progress, trials, triumphs, setbacks, etc.


Since I want this to be an honest tracking of my progress. I plan to list what I am doing, how I am doing, the progress or regress, my true portrait of my descent into madness!!


You can help. Leave comments and tell me to keep working, to keep going to the gym, to avoid Pringles and Doritos, to stop trying and start doing. You know, standard motivational stuff. You don't necessarily have to care too much - comment anyway. Just don't make fun - I'm a delicate flower that bruises easily and any negative comment will send me into a shame spiral and I will be forced to eat several Jumbo Jack's.


I plan to post photos of my progress, an exercise diary, my food choices, and whatever else pops in my mind.


The goal - enter and complete the 2009 San Diego Rock N Roll Marathon. Yes 26.2 miles of exercise and one I finished in 2004. Yes, I completed this marathon in 2004 when I was at the height of my previous fitness craze. What a fast fall it has been into my current state.


What is my current state?

I completed 1 mile on the treadmill last night. And it was tough. I was wheezing and breathing harder than I should be but that is my starting point. My next mini goal - complete 2 miles on the treadmill in 25 minutes.


I exercise currently about 4 days a week. Mainly weights and machines. Not much aerobics. My arms are bigger and chest is strong. I can bench 205 with no problems. I barely pass that test of - does your chest stick out farther than your belly. So I have a lot of ab work to do and more aerobics.

Plans for Week

Wednesday - No gym today so have to watch the food intake and limit the junk

Thursday - Gym. 1 mile on the treadmill in under 20 minutes. 30 minutes on another machine (eliptical or cross trainer), weights for a little bit and 15 minutes of abs.

Friday - Gym. Just weights and maybe some abs. See how they feel

Saturday - Go for a long walk (2+ miles). Gym, treadmill 1 mile and no weights

Sunday - Gym. Weights only, stretch. Get drunk.

Let's see how it goes.